Marionette (꼭두각시)

Marionette (꼭두각시)

A dark sky without shooting stars

An empty stage without spectators where a small and sad doll dances on the rhythm of moody music to the spotlight

The dream of an innocent girl destroyed by a boy who only used her for selfish purposes

A half broken wine glass standing on a dusty book with scrawled pages

A trinket locked in a narrow box

A colorless show in which two strangers discuss the latest scandal

The night breeze sweeping the hundreds of torn pages of the secret love diary from the floor

Tangled threads, crushed feelings, a fatal lie

A chemical love that brings no gain, but only pepper the bleeding wounds

A lot of tears flooding me eyes, a love story that no longer deserves to be told

The time has come to I think about all this

The consequences I will suffer because of  negligence

The pain that I will have to carry in my heart for all the rest  of from days

My destiny was rewritten again, a bad ending to a beautiful beginning

I would have wanted this tragedy not to destroy me, but it did

Just a blink and I realize  it's not may what it was

There is no longer that atmosphere, that enthusiasm that made me dream every time

I feel caught in the middle of a war in search of freedom

I know that this relationship caused me to needlessly squander my chances of survival

And I know that this art of pain does not make me tolerate the way I was treated

Too many risks, too many obvious lies, too many abstract and meaningless words

Too many screams, contradictions and distorted looks

The convulsions inside me make me sigh deeply, interrupt

And I still can't understand why I'm the one he must be in a bad situation

And I still don't understand why I didn't end this suffering when I had to

And I don't know why you decided to leave exactly now

For knowing that your impudence has made me so weak?

Or because you realized that I can no longer be your marionette , that doll that to will do everything as you will dictate

Look me in the eye and tell me straight up that all this bullshit will end

Look at me and tell me that you don't like me anymore, that you're leaving and that you're never coming back

Tell me what I want to hear out loud, I waiting irritatated for you to give me your verdict, which will be definitive

I am waiting for you to tell me the reality that I have seen and felt

If you really had an ounce of respect for me you would confirm to me without a doubt that everything I said is true

But as usual you prefer to be silent and look with pleasure at me crying and trying to recover

Now I realize that you are superficially , you're just an intruder who wanted to make dust my life

You lied to me, you used me, you were always preoccupied about to changing me

Always dissatisfied with what I tried to offer you

I thought what I had was enough, but you wanted more

I loved you, I tried not to make mistakes, not to upset you, not to show you the pain and the doubts I had

I always put myself second, I thought it was unfair to blame you for something that may not exist

But you couldn't bear to see me happy and wanted to give me the fatal blow

How I have could blindly believe in a boy who clipped my wings?

How I have could believe that a boy would love me as I am, without expecting too much in return ?

To know that things will not always go the way you want them to

And know that love is not a game of chance

Once you have betrayed you will be betrayed

One delusion is enough for me

I don't want this history to be written twice

I'd be lying if I said I like what I see

And I would be lying if I said that my heart likes the way you behave

You are not the boy I fell in love with

Why do I have to suffer for you to feel good?

I don't recognize you, you're not the one I wanted

I don't need your ironic apologies, my patience is long dead

I won't wait for you to hurt me twice, I've given you too many chances

Every chance I gave you you deepened my disappointment

I owe you as much as you offered me

You wanted to leave, I can't feel with guilty about anything

From this moment I no longer feel obliged to offer you my love which you manipulated as you wanted and knew

I don't nothing binds me anymore with this failed and difficult relationship

I simply want to a give  it prey to oblivion

The bitter regret I can't put to sleep

The convulsions within me that compel me to accept this humiliating defeat

All these are the result of your character

I can't take my words back, but I can cut you out of my life and give me another chance

To promise myself that I won't let  anyone trample on my honor

And when I think about our crazy moments

To the intense touches and the syrupy and hungry  kisses

And to our lips always bitten between our teeth

The way I was learning to take the first steps of the waltz for the first time with you 

The way we danced barefoot in the rain ,and have our skin so wet and cold

The way we used to make surprises each other on our birthdays

Of moments when I smiled the sweetest when you   ran your thin fingers over my body hot with the greatest delicacy

Of the mornings when we woke up from to the same aroma of coffee

It was such a beautiful time in my life but now it's over

I will have to forget, to be strong with an elastic heart

Which  should not be anyone's marionette

No, I won't be anyone's marionette anymore

Irina Catalina gio (이리나 카탈리나 지오)🦄🦄